Keep fit campaign for eagles

I awoke early this morning, at around 5am, swallowed a bit of liquid morphine and crashed out until 930am. I then felt raring to go and wanted to see what my physical limitations were. Was I still able to bench press a lot of weight( lifted a 3kg bag of coffee beans once ), do sprint reps with someone of equal weight on my back, and swim 400m in the pool in less than 5 minutes. Well, I thought I might try to find out.
I quickly got dressed, not bothering with a shower as I had one last week, and slowly went downstairs, put on a fleece and then I was off out into the back garden. I felt free of constraints and soon drove my car forward 10 feet to to enable me to get at some of the tools and equipment that are located in the far corner of the garage. I pulled out a 6lb sledge hammer, almost the lightest sledge hammer you can buy, and tapped a copper pipe into the ground. Then I had to raise said hammer fairly high, and clout the pipe a bit harder. It was my plan to use it as a hole in which to drop the bolt when opening the side gate.After that I tried to sweep the driveway clear of leaves until I felt all woozy, and thought I might well collapse on the garage floor. It must have been the recent rain has made the leaves heavier. It occurred to me that Mel wouldn't come to find me, as she doesn't like it out in the garden, so I could be there for some time, struggling to breath. I was gulping huge mouthfuls of air when I heard her join me. Can you sweep up the leaves for me, I asked. I then got some light bulbs and took the step ladder indoors to change some of the 6 lights that had gone out whilst I had been away. Six of them. What have they been doing to blow six of them? Must have been a good party. I was determined to get as many jobs done as I could this morning before I died.
Did that, then covered the wooden garden furniture ready for the winter squalls and went to fill the bird feeders, all six of them being empty now that there isn't a bird lover in residence whilst I was away. But I couldn't do it. Totally exhausted by my efforts, or rather Melanie's efforts and my supervisory skills. So the birds will wait until the morning, when I am up from my morphine induced slumbers. Who knows, I might see eagles and flamingo's in my garden.For the first time, although I do know people who reckon they get parakeets in theirs. As if!
I still had to put the car away and the effort of walking out and getting into it was almost too much for me. I might still be able to carry Melanie on my back to the bird feeders tomorrow so mustn't despair. I shall keep up this fitness regime until it kills me, I am only 48 and you wouldn't know it to look at me would you.