It was a bit hectic today, and I have had to have a lie down again.
I drove to work dropping off my Rosanna at her Uni in Wimbledon. I like having her in the car because she is trapped and has to listen to my view on whatever the great issue of the day is. We put on the radio and listen to the 'Shock Jock' and the topical debate concerning London but decided our topic was better. This morning it was the business of passing her driving test, and how it is stressing her out. Grandad, himself a very brilliant driver, is paying for the lessons, and having bought 20 feels that Rosie should be ready to take her test by now. I have told her that she should ignore these ill informed opinions and only listen to me, her father, who after all is the worlds finest exponent of the art of driving. I big myself up so that she listens to me and not my father, who's finest hour came behind the wheel of a nuclear submarine and who thinks having electrically operated windows is an unnecessary expense with a built in fault waiting to pounce on the unwary. I'll admit that pointing HMS Renown, a Resolution Class nuclear powered submarine, is probably a far more challenging thing to do than parking a 14ft long car in a car park. But lets face it when you come out of the store with your trolley you don't get those irritating little dinks on the bodywork from a mum throwing open her car doors to fit her screaming infant into the child seat in the back. Not if your your choice of craft for the day is a submarine. And what if someone cuts you up in traffic whilst you are struggling through Brixton or Peckham on your way home from work. You wouldn't really worry if after digit signals are exchanged the other driver gets out with a machete and walks towards you. You have a Polarus Missile you can wave at him. Either that or you can depth charge his BMW. So, no I don't really think my dad should be handing out advice to his granddaughter on driving. He did have an important role to fill in the Falklands and was responsible for a few missiles getting away from certain ships to land on other navy's ships, but he very rarely gets behind the wheel of anything these days and is most often seen cycling along the sea front with a bag of vegetables from the allotment. And very nice they are too.
London is a hard place to drive and Rosanna has a challenge to drive safely here.The biggest physical challenge is that her glasses don't allow her to see very well. No, I don't know why either. I went with her to get her eyes tested years ago and when we were in the darkened room she got to the third from bottom line before she couldn't see any more. That was with new glasses on. I thought it was rubbish and told the lady in the white coat so. She looked at me as if I were slightly retarded, and told me this was normal, at which I said it wasn't as I could see the entire board and the name of the company who made it. I continued my protest and was asked to leave. So is it really any surprise that anyone with glasses can't see approaching cars and children in the road.I think they are a fashion accessory, and as long as they are by Armani then they are good enough. Poor girl, she needs me around to pick her up and drop her off. I'm not allowed into Opticians with her these days apart from to pay when the bill arrives.
So after that it was into an office that i am allowed to use in times of petrol shortages. I enjoyed myself for a while sending out emails to colleagues who thought I had died, until I was about to go home and Richard turned up. He had spent all morning tracking down a London Bus driver, who having committed some heinous offence had then committed the more serious offence of lying to Richard. Richard is the largest person I know. He is probably the largest policeman in London today. Not only is he tall, but he is big. I think I saw him on the TV at the weekend, boxing against David Haye. I certainly wouldn't lie to him, but I'm not an idiot with a death wish. Anyway, a certain bus driver is soon to be called into a surprise discipline hearing where he will get the chance to see how large Richard is. I thought it funny anyway. Then I met another Richard as I was about to get in my car. This Richard recently came into a very large sum of money, and only mixes with people like us because he would be bored if he stayed at home in his mansion. I think he likes the work. There are some sad people in my life but I think they are great. We need people who are unusual don't we?
So I popped into my local cafe and spoke to Carol, who has a proper coffee machine imported from Italy. I can't taste coffee very well at the moment so I didn't have any, but had a couple of nice rolls instead. Then it was off home and that's about it really. My right lung is in poor condition, and I have a CT scan on Thursday in which they might be able to see what is going on. I sat down and fell asleep after a couple of strong pain killers. Just taken two more and right now I am away with the fairies so will stop now before I waffle on. This must be how Tolkein got the ideas for his stories wot he wort.